Homework is Dangerous!
by DragonCrazy
Summary: James, Sirius, and Peter try to convince Remus that homework is dangerous. Remus is skeptical. Alternating POVs. Set in third year. I don't own Harry Potter.
1. Chapter 1: Innocent

** Remus's POV**

I was doing my not-dangerous essay when James, Sirius, and Peter came in. "Want to go have a snowball war?" offered James.

I made a huge mistake. "No, I'll pass. Have to finish this essay first."

Sirius, Peter, and James gasped. "Remus!" scolded James sharply. "Haven't you heard of this saying? 'Fun before work'?"

I groaned. "Pretty sure it's 'Work before fun', James."

James rolled his eyes. "You've got a week to finish it, Remus. Besides, haven't you heard?"

"What?"

"More than two hours of homework a day can permanently affect your mind," hissed James.

Idiots. "For the better," I muttered.

"Do you have scientific proof?" I demanded.

Sirius grinned. "Professor Black, here to give Mr. Lupin scientific proof."

"Curse them," I murmured.


	2. Chapter 2: Dark-Peter and X-rays

** Sirius's POV**

James, Peter, and I ran out of the dorm after telling Remus that homework was dangerous, looking for scientific evidence.

James mock-bowed at me. "So, Professor-' Peter snorted at this'-where shall we get our scientific evidence?"

I took on a McGonagall-like voice. "Why, since those paranoid O.W.L and N.E.W.T students study 14 hours a day anyways, we should get this Muggle object called an 'X-ray' and take pictures of their brains while they sleep!"

James grinned. "Brilliant idea, Sirius, leave the X-ray to me!"

I gaped at him. "I was joking, you know..."

James grinned again. "I really am going to get that ray thingy. Anything to get Remus out of the dorm and play."

I grinned back. "Alright, then, we start next week!"

Peter rolled his eyes. "I want Remus to come out and play too, but isn't getting an X-ray a bit overboard?"

James gasped. "Nothing is overboard if it concerns our Remus. Not even becoming an Animagus!"

"Which we're trying to achieve right now," pointed out Peter. "I'm not complaining about it, anything to help Remus, but to stop him from studying... Isn't studying a _good_ thing?"

I followed James' example and gasped. "PETER, NOOO! YOU'VE FOLLOWED OUR POOR REMUS OVER TO THE DARK SIDE!"

"I'm going in with Remus, I need help on my Charms essay," said Dark-Peter, rolling his eyes again.

"Very well, then... Goodbye, Dark-Peter..." said James somberly. Great minds think alike.

"Alright, James, let's go get that X-ray and save Dark-Peter and Dark-Remus," I cheered.

All of the fifth and seventh year students glared at me. "SHH!"

"Party-poopers," grumbled James.


	3. Chapter 3: Stealing Brains

**Peter's POV**

My friends are _so_ stupid! And lucky. They haven't seen Flitwick for Remedial Charms, have they?

Thought not.

So, after trying to get some sense into James and Sirius' heads, which is impossible, I decided to join Remus and do my homework.

"Hey, Peter, good to know that you care about your homework," greeted Remus. He paused. "I hope."

"James and Sirius are planning to take rays of your brain," I blurted out.

Remus gaped at me. "_Rays _of my _brain_?"

"Something like that."

He paled. "They're planning to deprive me of my _brain_?"

I stared at him, paling as well. "I guess so. James and Sirius are planning to use it on O.W.L and N.E.W.T. students as well... Or maybe just them and not you, I forgot."

"O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. students? Their lives will be ruined! They need their brain-waves to take the exams!" moaned Remus.

"We have to stop them!" I cried, jumping off my bed.

Remus leaped off as well. "When are they planning to do this?"

"Next w-week," I stuttered. Now that Remus put it that way, I couldn't believe that James and Sirius were so cruel. "They need to order something first, I think it's for taking the rays."

"They're going to the Owlery, right?" asked Remus, hyperventilating.

"Y-y-yes," I moaned.

"We need to get there first!" screamed Remus, dashing out the door. "Peter, you warn everyone!"

"Alright, Remus."

I rushed out the door and started screeching,"EVERYONE! ESPECIALLY O.W.L. AND N.E.W.T. STUDENTS! SIRIUS AND JAMES ARE PLANNING TO TAKE YOUR BRAINS!"

Second, third, fourth, and sixth year students started laughing. Easy for them, they weren't O.W.L. or N.E.W.T. students.

First years, being extremely gullible, and thinking that magic could achieve everything, starting screaming and wrapping their arms around their brains.

"NOO! DON'T TAKE MY PRECIOUS!"

"I LIKE MY BRAIN!"

Fifth and seventh year students, who were studying literally most of the day, cracked under the pressure.

"I NEED MY BRAIN!"

"MY STUDYING IS GOING TO GO TO WASTE!"

"I WILL KILL POTTER AND BLACK!"

* * *

**A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this one!**

**Also, I would love constructive criticism.**


	4. Chapter 4: Confusion and Brains?

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, I was a little busy...**

* * *

**James' POV**

Sirius and I walked up toward the Gryffindor tower, and ultimately the common room. Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming our way.

"Hide!" I hissed. Sirius nodded. "Code Marauder. I think it's Remus, the footsteps are long and... stride-ish."

Sirius snorted, but hid behind a tapestry with me. It's a known fact that I have better hearing than him.

Moments later, Remus dashed towards the Owlery, extremely pale for some reason.

After Remus was gone, Sirius and I continued our long stroll to the tower.

* * *

One Mrs. Norris and McGonnagal later, we got up the tower and to the common room.

The Fat Lady sniffed at me. "Are you two planning to be zombies?"

We stared at her and gave her the password.

Screams and yells greeted us.

"MY BRAIN! MY BRAIN!"

"POTTER! BLACK!"

"Why Potter first? Black and Potter sounds better," whined Sirius.

I smirked. "No way."

We stepped into the common room, confused and angry (Sirius).

"What's going on here?" I asked.

Suddenly, the whole room went silent. A feather could've dropped and you could've heard it.

Just as suddenly, the screaming began again.

"AAHHH!"

Everyone (except for Sirius and I) started running to their dorms, Peter with them.

"What's going on here?" asked Sirius.

I shook my head. "No idea, dog, no idea."


	5. Chapter 5: Zombie?

**Sirius' POV**

I rolled my eyes. "Don't they know it's rude to run away from people?"

James coughed. "Unless the said person is a Death Eater, right?"

I stared at him. "Unless you want to die, then yes, you do run away."

"Rather not. So, why do you think everyone ran away screaming?"

I thought for a moment, then said jokingly,"Maybe they think we're going to steal their brains."

James snorted. "Yeah, right, and I'm going to get killed by Voldemort with my wife, Lily Potter."

"That could happen," I said seriously.

"Whatever, so any other ideas?"

"Err... They think we're zombies?"

James stared at me. "Why would they think that?"

"Jeez, how am I supposed to know?"

"You're Professor Black, remember?"

"No, but I do remember that there's a quiz in Transfiguration tomorrow. We need to cram for it."

James sighed in a Remus-like way. "Forgot about that. Alright, let's go."


	6. Chapter 6: Safety Meetings and Hats

**Remus' POV**

I ran down the corridor, but couldn't find them.

Curse Potter and Black.

I ran all the way to the Owlery cautiously, avoiding Filch and his annoying cat.

When I got there, no annoying idiots. James' owl was gone, though.

We're doomed.

* * *

When I got to the common room, no one was there.

I decided to warn everyone that James and Sirius had sent their letter to get the ray-stealing machine.

* * *

When I finished talking, everyone stared at me. I had called for a secret meeting. Everyone except for James and Sirius were here.

A first year boy raised his hand. I nodded at him.

His voice trembled. "What should we do?"

I pondered over it. "Maybe wear metal hats covering our brain? Metal can protect you from rays."

A seventh year girl suggested,"We should have nightly meetings to update everyone. That way we're safer."

Everyone murmured their approval.

"It's decided, then," I said briskly. "Meeting in this room every night at 10PM."

"You are dismissed. Good night, and get a metal hat! Also, no one must tell James and Sirius. Do not talk about it outside of this room, alright?" announced Peter.

Everyone nodded and filed out.


End file.
